Imagine that (if you dare)

After I leave, when I think of the strange and memorable, and strangely memorable, sights I’ve witnessed here -- those “only in Asia,” or “only in Bangkok” moments -- I’ll think mostly of the images described in detail in the guidebooks and travelogues and witnessed by every visitor to Bangkok: full-grown elephants lumbering down the sidewalks, blinkers tied to their tails; transvestite and transsexual hookers (who can tell the difference?) grabbing at unsuspecting elbows; traffic jams at 4:00 a.m. So, I’d like to place here, for posterity, a definitively “only in Asia” image that I alone saw last night in my apartment building’s exercise room. On the treadmill next to me was a slightly overweight fellow-renter whose gender I couldn’t ascertain. But androgyny is not unusual in Bangkok. What was unusual was his/her attire: flip-flops, an untucked short-sleeved dress shirt, and a baggy pair of those shiny faux-silk boxers they sell on the street. Normally I would label such a getup the most inappropriate outfit one could possibly put together for exercise of any sort. Except in this case the workout wasn’t a workout at all. Asian Pat was moving -- calling it walking would be too kind -- at about one mile per hour. Probably slower. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a fully ambulatory person move that slow. Even the treadmill wanted to speed up. So there you have it: an out-of-shape sexless person in flip-flops and underwear getting in shape by moving as slow as is humanly possible. Only in Asia... let’s hope.