And when I hit the glass ceiling at this place, I can quit and become a condom tester...

I have an announcement to make: my job search has ended. After eight months of pavement-hitting, my feet have finally stopped moving. Here is where they landed:


I was wandering around the Upper West Side last week, and there it was, right in front of me: the Greatest Job of All Time. Bonus: when I start, I'll finally get to wear my favorite shirt to work.


Speaking of ladies' unmentionables, I stumbled across an ad for Fupa.com last night. Needless to say, with a name like Fupa, I had to check it out. Turns out (as you know if you just clicked the link yourself) it's an online gaming site. Funny -- I always thought it was something else.

Caption translation: "I wish New Yorker cartoons weren't so abstruse and pedantic"

Check out this cartoon from this week's New Yorker:



Ha! Classic.

Get it? See, there's this bald guy, and he's sitting at home thinking something in French, maybe about how he wishes he weren't bald. It's funny cause it's true.


[Not to condescend, but I thought I'd clarify just to be sure -- sometimes The New Yorker's cartoons can be a bit inscrutable, as they cheerfully admit themselves. It's also kinda funny -- funny ironic, not funny ha-ha -- that the artist of the above cartoon, Bob Mankoff, is the cartoon editor of the magazine and author of the "I Don't Get It" Cartoon IQ Test from Nov. 3rd's Cartoon Issue. Expect to get a few letters about your own cartoon this week, Bob. Va te faire foutre!]

WOTE's (2nd) (as-Fun-as-a-Fact-Can-Be) Fact of the Day*

If 48 million votes were "perfectly" distributed, theoretically the presidency could be won with just 22% (48 out of 213 million) of the electorate's support. Twenty-two percent!


(As-Fun-as-a-Fact-Can-Be) Fact Courtesy of:

"How Much Is Your Vote Worth?" in yesterday's Times.


[When I was looking at the electoral map a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that there is no way California has "only" twenty times as many people as Wyoming or Alaska. I was going to write a quick entry about that particular flaw in the electoral college system (the others have been well-documented), but it looks like the Times beat me to it. They should really hire me, those guys.]


* Sort of like Harper’s Index, but even more funner.

WOTE's (as-Fun-as-a-Fact-Can-Be) Fact of the Day*

Back in the good old days -- i.e., before 1824 -- presidential candidates did not campaign for the job. As Jill Lepore writes, in a recent piece in The New Yorker, "In keeping with the tradition of the first five American Presidents, [John Quincy] Adams considered currying favor with voters to be beneath the dignity of the office, and believed that any man who craved the Presidency ought not to have it. Adams called this his Macbeth policy:

If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me,
Without my stir.

Jackson's supporters leaned more toward Lady Macbeth's point of view. They had no choice but to stir: their candidate was, otherwise, unelectable. How they stirred has shaped American politics ever since."

No shit. In other words, we have Andrew Jackson to thank for all this crap we've endured the past 20+ months.


(As-Fun-as-a-Fact-Can-Be) Fact Courtesy of:

"Bound for Glory," by Jill Lepore, from the Oct. 20th New Yorker.


* Sort of like Harper’s Index, but even more funner.

Next Time on WOTE: Natalie Portman and her Strange Attraction to Pompous, Overeducated, Underemployed Bloggers

Homunculus blogs and the world follows.

To wit --


July 18, 2008: I discuss -- I mention -- the WBNA for the first time in my life.

Four days later: The biggest event in the history of the league takes place; hockey moms and Joes-six-pack learn what WNBA actually stands for.

Coincidence? Possibly.


Beginning of August: Homunculus visits a friend in Denmark for a week.

The weekend I return: Major stories about Denmark appear in not one, but two of America's finest newspapers.

Coincidence? Unlikely.


Sept. 3, 2008: Homunculus becomes the first blogger in history to devote an entire entry to the Saguaro cactus.

And today: The Times reports on a disturbing new trend in Arizona: Saguaro cactus theft.

Coincidence? Not hardly.


I shall henceforth be known as Homunculus J. Delphic, the Vatic Oracle of the Blogosphere.

WOTE's Quote du Jour*

"If I were a dictator, which I always aspire to be, I would write it a little bit differently."

-- John McCain, on the Wall Street bailout bill


Quote du Jour courtesy of:

"Lipstick on a Pig: A 2008 Campaign Quiz," in this week's New Yorker (the Politics Issue)


My only comment that is not a much-too-obvious joke is, How did this not get more coverage?? Seriously, if you Google the quote, only three links pop up, and two of them are from The New Yorker piece. (Then again, if you Google "John McCain" & "dictator," you get 1,080,000 results, so who knows.)

(Then again, again, if you Google "Barack Obama" & "dictator," you get 1,070,000 results. Don't you just love the Internet?)


* Despite its title, not a regular feature of WOTE. To be used only when I have no original thoughts of my own, nor any "WOTE (as-Fun-as-a-Fact-Can-Be) Fact of the Day" to use as equally indolent filler.

Fathers & Sons, Fathers & Dogs

Overheard on my run tonight:

A 7-year-old blond boy, to his father: "Dad, don't you think pumpkins should be for all seasons?"

His father: "Maybe."

For what it's worth, Little Towhead, Homunculus is with ya: If there's one thing a pumpkin should be, it's for all seasons.


Overseen on the Times online today:

"Man dives in to save dog from shark in Fla. attack." I'll say this for the dude: Brotha loves his dog. But seriously, what is up with guys jumping into the water to fight sharks with their bare hands? And just because I would never ever ever do that, does that make them braver than me?